The Chennai Conundrum

As promised to breathless readers and awestruck fans from the time of gladiators and the roman empire (which is when I last updated my blog) - "I am back"

The slumbering blog gets a new lease of life courtesy - the enigmatic city of Chennai where I found myself two weekends previously defying frantically dissuading well-wishers and ignoring a deep sense of foreboding. Not-so-subtle snubs from a smart-alecky bagger called Faiz Azim also provoked me into settling comfortably on my posterior without the usual faithfuls - popcorn and remote for a change.

The new post is indeed about "The adventures of Gogi: Chennai beckons" ..... only a few millenia and several trips to myriad places later. The city has not changed too much - keen readers will immediately observe a double entendre pandering to Chennai-lovers and Chennai-"bring-it-on"-ers simultaneously. Occupational hazards of consulting, you see.....

Chennai is unique in its own charming way - sweat, dirt 'n grime, nasty thieving auto-wallahs, more sweat, latin-esque signs and billboards, rickety killing machine buses, yet more sweat..... you get the picture. The only redeeming factors were the idli-dosas and one of the high points of the trip - Zara. Snooty Bangalore fan that I am, Zara was a complete revelation and increased my appreciation of Chennai from the netherworld to a notch above "Never again in my life". Classy deco, good food, decent VFM (Value For Money.... if you must know), young crowd and rocking music - one was suddenly transported back to Bangalore. You got to go to Chennai and check out this place!!! Sorry, got a little carried away....... if by a quirk of fate, you find yourself in Chennai, its a must-go!

We also squeezed in a trip to Mahabalipuram and Pondicherry during the trip. The Pondicherry trip was a complete disaster - non-existent beach due to tsunami fortifications, Auroville visit after closing hours, inability to locate the French quarter and peace/ serenity more reminiscent of Chennai than any possible region of France. Mahabalipuram was awesome though - lovely clean beach untouched by tourist vandalism, a nice shore temple and THE high point of the trip - Moonrakers. Moonrakers, with its hip name*, cheerful service and the heavenly pancakes alone warrants another trip to Mahabalipuram. Several honey pancakes, banana pancakes, Mexican omelets and fruit juices later**, we left the place with heavy hearts and even heavier stomachs.

Which brings me back to the primary reason yours truly was in Chennai. Our very own H-Mezz TDH*** dude (code name: lambu) and his honorary H-Mezz better half (code name: archi) had chosen to enter into holy matrimony in this city and we had no option but to grace the happy occasion. However, the trip also resulted in us contracting Conjunctivitis and roaming about Mahabalipuram and Chennai in pseud, MIB-ish dark glasses. While we got appreciative glances during the day, I had the strange feeling the crowd at the airport later that night did not think it was very cool and some even gave us weird looks. The feeling as we boarded our flight was similar to Jurassic Park as the survivors fly into the sunset. Dear readers, I regret to inform you that our escape from Chennai is not set to last forever, as another member of the esteemed H-Mezz community is harbouring plans to get married there as well :-(. While we appreciate your empathy, noble souls might also consider contributing to the H-Mezz Chennai-goer Rehabilitation Fund to expedite recovery of afflicted victims.


Disclaimer: The views expressed here are mine alone and do not necessarily bear any resemblance to any name, place, animal or thing - living or dead. "Chennai" is an allegorical reference and should not be confused with the bustling metropolis that goes by the same name. As feelings hurt by the blog are unlikely to be assuaged by a simple apology, readers who take umbrage are encouraged to vent their feelings about things dear to the author - Hyderabad and Biryani. A word of caution though - Biryani bashers might have to contend with hate mail from sensitive members of the H-Mezz community! A parting thought - my bias against Chennai not-withstanding, conjunctivitis is colloquially also called "Madras Eye" :-)


* The story of Moonrakers.... A dark night with a full moon, shrieking owls and the works. A bunch of no-gooders hauling beer barrels when they spot the sheriff's cohorts. They dump the barrels into a lake and keep them in range using moonrakes. When confronted, they blabber about trying to rake in the cheese (reflection of the moon) from the lake, to the utter amusement of the law-enforcers. Needless to say, they had the last laugh later on.... Howzzat for an inspiration to name a small nondescript Mahabalipuram restaurant!!!

** Unsuspecting souls would ascribe the several references to food in the current and previous posts to co-incidence. However, folks in the know would be aware that the motley group called H-Mezz (the jazzy name unfortunately only means the Mezzanine floor of the H-Block) are avid foodies whose primary form of worship includes "pet pooja". Needless to say, expect references to more mouth-watering delicacies and eating joints in future posts as well [:)]

*** TDH, for the uninitiated, stands for Tall-Dark-Handsome - the ultimate quest for the marriageable Indian male. Grab your copy of "South Indian Men's Health" for more such engrossing fare. This month's edition features our cover story - "Nature's unlikely aphrodisiac -Coconuts" with exclusive excerpts from a free-wheeling conversation with the latest sensation who has captured the nation's imagination - Sreesanth